“Well, of course you are, honey. You’re 12 1/2. Your parts are all growing at different rates and you have a mouth full of metal.” I almost immediately realized this was the most wrong of replies when she turned her brown eyes towards me and her above mentioned mouth trembled.

“I’m an ugly duckling, Mom. I’m ugly now and always will be. I’ll never have my swan day.”

Oh dear. Ouch. True enough she is funny looking right now. Girl is 5’4″, 85 pounds. Add a head of thick red hair, freckles, brown eyes and the metal mouth and it’s not an easy package. But the thing is that in about five years Sister is going to be a stunner the likes of which can’t be touched by regular ole humans. She’ll hit about 5’9″, have the sort of physique most of us gals can only dream of, the red hair and freckles will calm down by then. But more importantly Cassidy’s got it going on inside. She is not only smart, she is a smart ass. She can deliver a zinger without even blinking an eye and leave the recipient, often me, reeling on their ass. Cass reads, writes and delivers. She will be a star and a swan all in one breath. And her one day? It will be a lifetime of fabulousness. She doesn’t get that now. Right now she is the lone red fish in a sea of blondes and brunettes. She is lanky and knobby when the others are curvy and soft. I want to tell her it will even out, and I do. She doesn’t believe it right now because these words come from her mom who is old, 39 is ancient to her. But her day will come and when it does I hope she looks back at her awkward days and remembers the path she travled to get there. And so tonight I replied, “Sister Child, this too shall pass. Your duck days will end and your swan reign will begin. You are destined for all things beautiful. I know this much is true.” Of course to this she merely rolled her eyes and heaved another sigh.

In honor of summer memories I have been going through some of my favorite images from our camping trips. Contrary to the hogwash Kelly Lynne likes to spread about out forays into Nature, we actually do venture out where there is no pavement or electricity and the bugs really do bite. It’s hard work dragging all three of my kids out into the wilderness at the same time. Loren obviously prefers to be anywhere other than with us. Cassidy needs to be catered to most every moment. And Devon wants to suck it all in and run rampant like a wild thing through the woods. Good times.

Clockwise from the top: One of the only things to capture Loren’s interest on our latest trip was my mom’s new camera that can take pictures and video underwater. The above shot of him is one of my all time favorites because I can hear him saying, “Holy shit! Look at this, Heather! So fuckin’ cool!” Yes, I will long treasure the excitement of that sentence. I can’t recall what drama lead to me holding Cass but I like to think I am being tender there. I love the shot of Cass as she looks out over the lake. We were getting ready to go out paddling and she could barely wait to get out in the water. She is my little mermaid baby. Going out on the duckie boat fascinated Devon. He kept trolling around the beach demanding ride after ride until we all had numb butts from sitting in the bottom of the boat. Looking at these pictures makes me remember why I love the monsters I call my children.

Over the weekend Cass cornered me in the kitchen and said, “I know all about you. How you’re the Easter Bunny and Santa and the Tooth Fairy.” This time I really waited for the shit to fly. Her take went a little bit like this, “So, here’s the deal. Now that I know, I want in. Tonight I want to do the baskets, stuff the eggs, plan the treasure hunt. After all, you want to keep Devon in the dark about it, right?”

One is pure in spirit and the other an extortionist. I’m raising them right.

1. I love the way when I nuzzle Devon’s neck he scrunches up his shoulders and erupts in to fits of giggles, taking my face with him as we collapse in a pile on the floor. He never seems to tire of it and I find it endlessly endearing.

2. I love the way Loren bends his large self over and rests his now taller head on my shoulder. I am continually in awe of the fact that this 5’10″ being was once my tiny cuddly boy.

3. I love Cassidy’s sense of humor. It is wicked, fast and beyond clever. Sometimes she says the sassiest things and I can imagine the brilliant woman she will one day become. I look forward to knowing that woman.

4. I love it that Devon requires my presence in his car bed every morning before he is able to rise and greet the day. I snuggle up to him and he tells me of his dreams and that I am his favorite. It never fails to give me courage to face the day.

5. I love it that Loren requires the same routine to begin his days, only he has a large futon and not a giant, red plastic car bed. And I suspect now that he is nearing 16 he censors his dreams for my benefit. At least I hope so.

6. I love it that Cass greets the mornings snarling and kicking ass. She scares me, but to watch her unfurl and begin her day is inspiring, like a predator preparing for a kill.

7. I love to hear Devon’s stubby foot falls running through the house. He is forever in motion and his energy is contagious.

8. I love to watch Loren as he jumps on the tramp of constructs jumps in the snow for his ski tricks. His devotion to physical play is admirable.

9. I love to see Cass’ profile as she curls up in a chair and reads one of her books. She has so much pent up energy and yet she will sit for hours and read, a slight frown between her brows as she chews on her thumbnail.

10. I love it most when I fall asleep at night and know my three children are tucked safely in their beds. It is a security and satisfaction unlike anything else I know. I picture them in their beds so full of life and everything beautiful that they are right now. And then I feel complete.