Sometimes I picture motherhood, or parenthood if we are being all equal opportunity here, as series of stats They would read something like this:
- Drama on a daily basis is a must. Expect it. If it doesn’t show up, surely it will come back to bite you in the ass and you will end up suffering twice as much.
- Peace is just never gonna happen. Get over it. If you yearn for it, you are a pussy and not deserving of breathing. It is a given you will be kept up late with the above mentioned drama or awakened early by the demands of a child’s bathroom needs.
- Pertaining to the previous bullet, both late and early hours are a must. Deal with it or lose your mind.
- Personal time is also out of the picture. Get a husband, or wife if you lean that way, and learn how to keep him/her if you feel the need to tag team. If you can’t/won’t keep him/her then, again, deal.
- Say goodbye to your core area. This is related to the above personal time thing. When there is drama and no down time then work outs go to hell and your mid region ends up as more of a down region. Of course if you have no partner this might not be a big deal because when you recline that area serves as a shelf for your drink glass while you read a romance novel.
I think the above points are a nifty start to a lengthy list of parenting tips single folk might appreciate from those of us who are currently in the trenches. I feel they are honest revelations and could be most helpful to those who are maybe on the fence of whether or not they should procreate. If nothing else it might help to curb population growth. On the other hand, I might just have PMS and be ever so slightly bitchy.
