1. Why, on the day before Spring Break when I am scheduled for a weekend at a swanky mountain condo with one of my most favorite of friends, do I get sick with a raging sinus infection?

2. How is it that Cassidy continues to slither into my bed nearly every other night? Hello? She has her own room with a soft bed and pillows, etc.

3. And why can’t she just lie here quietly? Why does she insist on chatting and needling me?

4. And why does she feel the need to gossip? It’s nearly 10 pm. Go away already, Red.

5. Why did I buy that jumbo box of Kirkland fruit snacks for the kids’ lunches. Who am I kidding? They’re like crack, but better. And there are 50 packs in a box. FIFTY.

6. This sinus infection? It’s invaded my ears. And at night wheen I sleep on my side it feels as though a large brick is nestled in my nasal cavity.

7. If Cassidy is going to continue her nightly visits to my room she can’t eat anything gaseous. Because sister has some seriously funky smells emitting from her rumpus. And they are not delicate.

8. Speaking of delicate, I hope Loren isn’t so hormonal tomorrow. Today was way too rough.

9. I am dreaming of Spanx lately. Not sure if I should actually admit it because I suspect they are really girdles. But I have to say they seem like they would make me look and feel like a sparkly fish, maybe even a mermaid.

Aside from the underwear dream it’s really a rather pitiful list. Nothing deep or meaningful, but all mine.