Cold feet or If You Give an Angst Ridden Mouse a Cookie

This afternoon I got an email from the ever gracious Jenifer of Not Calm dot Com and Blogher who informed me that my wee blog will be featured in the Buzz section of iVillage on Thursday morning. My initial reaction was all, “Hmmmm, sounds cool, but what is iVillage?” My paths on the internet are well worn and not terribly varied so I am not at all suave when it comes to much of anything. So I looked it up and it looks all official and stuff. So then my next thought was, “Huh, looks kinda cool. They must have been out of fresh stuff at Blogher to have picked my piece of crap blog for the day. Either that or Thursday is obviously the lowest of traffic days.”
That satisfied me for a bit until I started to think about my blog and the hand full of posts I can actually recall off the top of my head. But being the Eyeore I tend to be I started to again chew on it and wonder what it was all about. I began to think, “Crap, what will I possibly write about for Thursday just in case some fool clicks on the link and actually reads my blog. ” I say this because I am fairly sure the total sum of readers here adds up to as many fingers as I have on both my hands. On big days I could probably toss in a few toes, but that’s about it. So if more than that read this thing they might be expecting quality. And what then? How am I possibly going to pull that out of my ass? So then my next thought was, “Screw it. I’m done. With the time I stay up at night writing I could be painting, filling an Etsy order, planning my week or, best of all, sleeping. Piss on this blog and all the other freaks who insist on prattling on about their personal nonsense on the internet. Bunch of freaks, I am going to get a life.”
Yep, it went that far. Somebody pays me a kindness and what do I do? I sure as hell turn it into the worst of all worses. I haven’t the foggiest idea of what I’ll write about for Thursday. And if I feel so inclined I might stop this silliness all together. Or maybe not, then I would actually have to pay for therapy and then Devon would have to eat generic yogurt rather than the organic stuff.