You find my race carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?

I am trapped with a three year-old who will repeat same request until the cows come home. Currently he wants me to locate his Steve McQueen race car that has gone missing. I haven’ t the foggiest fucking idea where it is and I am about to cry from the stress of his incessant asking.
Loren is failing his science class. I have been emailing with his science teacher all morning who is puzzled because Loren is such a bright kid and is failing.
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So I ended up losing it with Devon. Losing it as in yelling at the top of my lungs in frustration until my throat hurt. Losing it in a way that he hid under a laundry basket and informed me that he, “was busy and out of the house for 10 minutes”. Shit. So out of guilt I took him to Wal Mart, the coolest of all places in his wee Book of Fun. On the way there he quietly informed me from the back seat, “I love you, Mai-Mai. You are so sweet.” If I wasn’t already plagued with Catholic guilt that would have done it right there. God, but I am shitty ass mom to that kid sometimes. Although I had planned not to, I bought him a Cars car that talks. Again the guilt worked in his favor. Then we came home and I read him Green Eggs and Ham and then he slept. For three hours. I would like to think it wasn’t my fury that drove him to hibernate from reality but that he was still recovering from the weekend wallop of the stomach bug that left him heaving over the toilet for hours on end. I don’t know. But I do know that I will go to bed tonight with the title if Shitty Mom affixed to my forehead. Fuuuuuuuuuck.
And with that note, Loren is still failing science. His other teachers inform me he is a gem with much potential, though lacking in the inertia department. Like I haven’t been hearing that from the Waldorf teachers for the last nine years. The only difference is there were no grades at Waldorf so really, what did it matter? Now I want to be the one to hibernate. Or if I can’t do that, I want to go here. Doesn’t that look like bliss?
I just want to scream or cry or both.