Back on the path

I had my ass kicked in September. It came as something of a surprise since I had envisioned myself happily skipping through stands of yellowing Aspen trees once the kids returned to school. ‘Twas not to be. I knew I had hit some sort of bottom when one night last week I woke up at 3 a.m. weeping and remained awake, gripped with panic, for the rest of the night. The following morning I was so beat I could barely focus my eyes and I found myself out on the patio, in the cold, weeping as the sun rose. Cassidy came out and asked me what was wrong. I paused and then unloaded far too much information on her. I said something like, “Baby, I am so tired of arguing with you and your older brother about why you need to do the things you need to do in order to function. I am so tired of handling your little brother’s fits. I am so tired of wondering what sort of mood your Mia will be in for the day, hour or moment. I am just so damn tired Cass.” Then she wrapped her scrawny little self around me and said, “It’s okay, Mommy. It’s all Okay. I love you.”
So I had a bit of a breakdown. The best of us do from time to time. Funny enough it was my mother who staged a sort of intervention. She pulled me from my bed where I had been spending every possible moment and has me on an herbal regime of stuff that has me feeling amazingly human again. That and I have been attending hot yoga everyday for the past week. The kids are a bit tender towards me and I can tell they are struggling to hold their argumentative tongues. God how I love them.
I have a longer post I have been compiling about the whole thing but I have so much to catch up on that was put aside during September.

These are from last weekend. Although Devon’s birthday was August 31, we only just got around to having a little party for him. He had much attention back on his real birthday but he kept going on and on about how he hadn’t had a birthday with cake and wrapped presents. So to shut him up we ponied up and gave him his show.
Clockwise: Devon surveying his spread. Opening up his Cars themed loot. All of his new gotten Cars crew goes everywhere with him. And I do mean. Everywhere. Cass proving to us all that she can eat cake just like a dog. She had just scored four goals at her soccer game so I figured she could eat however she wanted. I do feel for Loren’s horror at my constant picture taking, but it doesn’t mean I will stop. I have to have some sort of entertainment.