A couple is a good thing

There is a line in the movie About a Boy, yes one of my favorite Hugh Grant preformances, where the central boy character, Marcus, comments on single motherhood. He says that one person is just not enough, you definitely need more than one. Although I have long known this, today it smacked me in the face in an all too real sort of way.
Today my mommy went away.
I lived on my own when I left Matt for the first time when Loren was just 18 months. It was monumentally hard to rear a toddler, finish up my degree and maintain my sanity. I then lived on my own with both Cass and Loren when I divorced Matt. Loren was 9 and Cass was 5. Again, super hard. I left Matt many times in between for several weeks at a time, but I always retreated to my parent’s house where I had company. But parenting as a single person is just so damn hard. Today Devon was actually an angel. But trying to clean up after him, feed him, make sure he wasn’t peeing in some random corner and then get Cassidy to religous ed class, pick Loren up from band practice, attend Loren’s class meeting and try to feed them all and make sure homework was done, teeth brushed….. I want my mommy back. As pitiful as it sounds, it is true. I couldn’t do this right now, day in and day out without her. I am so tired tonight that the insides of my bones hurt. I am so happy for her that she is getting away. She went to Denver to see a Broadway show, go shopping and have some fun with a friend. My mom needs this time and I hope she was a wonderful getaway, but I’ll be happy to welcome her back tomorrow night. Yes indeed, I am 36 and really looking forward to my mommy coming home….