Mas, mas, mas y mas

Yes, it’s true. It’s all just a bit overwhelming right now. And when you can say that about your own blog? It might be that it all really is a bit much. Here are a few reasons as to why:
*This damn job is killing me. They want me 5 days a week. Five. And that’s not Monday through Friday. It’s bizarre stuff like Sunday through Saturday. What is that? How can a person get grounded on that sort of schedule?
*I have been missing my father with a depth that I didn’t know existed. It has paralyzed me and often leaves me without a single world. I get panic stricken when I think about the fact that he is just gone and never again coming home. I don’t know how to deal with it and don’t even have the words to ask anybody. Where is he? What became of everything that was him? How does a person simply go to work and never come home? Why did it happen to a good person and not a random, bad person?
*Parenting the three children, and trying to do it in the best way possible, sucks me dry. Who do I talk to? Can’t exactly have lunch with their father and ask for his advice. I tried to do just that one day during a phone conversation with him. He told me that when he got joint visitation time that all would be better. Uh. No. Don’t think so. I would rather man that post day in and day out than have him trying to raise them in Neverland.
*Between thinking of ways to support the kids, keep my sanity and not eating everything in sight I just don’t have the energy to be at one with the universe.
*My sibling is visiting from Boulder. He is about 57 posts in and of himself. When he is good, he is good. When he is bad….well, my kids and I just don’t need another bad man in our lives. Right now he is good, but I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And drop it will, likely on my head.
So that is it. That is why I can’t post right now. If I let it all out I am afraid I might float away into the oblivion of wherever it is the oblivion goes.