When I read headlines about celebrities collapsing from exhaustion I awlays roll my eyes and think, “Duh, what whimps. Get the hell over it.” But at the moment I am having some sympathy for them. I am so tired that the sheer effort of carting about my limbs is enough to make me want to cry. In fact, although I cry almost everyday because I miss my father, I haven’t had a good cry over my lameness in months -so I know I am beaten to pieces at the moment. And why? Because I get up at 5 a.m. go take care of kids all day and then come back to mine? It’s not like I work at the stock market and then train for marathons at night. Nor do I work 20 day shifts on an oil rigger. It’s just life for Christ’s sake. Sheeez.
Maybe it is grief catching up with me. Or maybe I have had just about as much of this fucking cold and snow as I can take. But soon the snow will melt, the days will get warm, flowers will start to grow and none of the kids will nag me about matching socks for the summer. This too shall pass and that is what I am holding on to this morning.
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Lack of sleep, lack of fun, lots of responsibility, winter, grief, it would be be enough to make me cry everyday. I’d be worn out mentally, physically and spiritually. It will pass, you’re right, but it’s so hard when you’re in the middle of it. Take care of yourself.
Spring will arrive, even where you are, before much longer.
Hang in. I know the feeling well.
SNOW?
I can’t even fathom. We’re having highs of 90 F already here in Phoenix.
My 20 month old is “ready” to swim as though she will stop breathing if it doesn’t happy NOW. Talk about scary.