Where the hell is my day off?

Seriously, is there ever a moment of peace? Just when I thought we had made it through the hell of my annual obsessive compulsive need to create The Best Damn Valentine’s EVER, it all goes to hell. Today I was on my way to pick up cassidy from school after I had picked up Loren early to take him to a dental appointment. I dragged Devon with us to the dentist because he was still so jazzed up from his music appreciation class to be bothered with a nap. So I brought the boys home to my mom and was headed out to pick up the Red One when Loren asked me to take a few moments to watch a few of his snow skating tricks. The first few he landed and I nodded my head in numbed agreement when he explained the names of the tricks to me. (They all look EXACTLY the same to me so I just agree with anything and everything that comes out of his mouth about them.) The last trick he didn’t land, at least not on his feet. He fell and lay still for a few moments before muttering a muffled explanation into the snow, “I’m okay, Mom. I just gotta lie here for a minute to let the pain stop.” I asked him if he needed a hand, but he told me to go on and get Cass since I was likely already late. As I was getting into the car I heard the horrified scream of a girl who has just discovered that all Abercrombie stores have closed. Forever. Then I turned around to find Loren running up the sidewalk and screaming, “I can’t feel anything, Mom! I can’t feel my hand! They’re going to have to cut it off!!!!!!!!!!!”
He ran up to me and showed me his hand and sure enough his right ring finger was not quite right. In fact it was wonkie in the worst of ways. The upper most digit was at a seriously wrong angle and the finger nail was popping up at an almost 90 degree angle. I wanted to excuse myself so that I could vomit but instead said to Loren, “Honey, we have to call Dr. Paul and go see him. Right now.”
Loren again started screaming hysterically as we entered the house. The hysterics continued when I was on the phone with the doctor’s office, so much so that the receptionist consulted a nurse and informed us that we would have to go to the emergency room rather than dirty her waiting room with our drama. Sigh. My original fear of an emergency room visit bill was coming to fruition. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit. So Lo-Lo and I hopped in the bug while my mother and Devon, who still had not napped, went to fetch Cassidy.
Turns out the ER was not as bad as it could have been. Our nurse was super nice and kept bringing Loren the hot blankets to bring him out of his frigid shock. The radiologist was a sporty blonde dish who loved Loren and his antics about how he bent his finger beyond a normal shape. And our doctor was a dreamy combination of smart assness and efficiency, though Loren informed me that I can never ever date another man so I should just knock it the hell off. Sooooo, dreamy doctor numbed up Loren’s finger and then pulled it and pushed it and squished back into a normal shape. He has to wear a splint for the next six weeks and will end up having surgery if it gets bent out of shape again. Loren will lose the finger nail since it was popped up and out of his hand. The bone was exposed to air for a spell so Loren is on a serious regime of antibiotics to prevent any sort of infection. And it sounds like Matt chose a low deductible for the kids so I might not be stuck with such a huge bill afterall. After a mere three hours we left the ER Loren and I went to McDonald’s for a couple of cheesburgers and fries to take the edge off. Then I gave him one of the prescribed pain pills to help him when the anesthetics wear off. Now Lo-Lo is watching Fuel TV and zoning out while he waits for me to come tend to him. So when all is said it could have been much worse.

My sad need to beat out all the other mothers for the Best Valentine Efforts, EVER.

Loren’s wonkie finger